


Does a Mall Babe Eat Chili Fries?

by heyjupiter



Series: Adopted Dad Logan 'Verse [1]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 13:10:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"C'mon, Remy, please take me to the mall?" Jubilee begged.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does a Mall Babe Eat Chili Fries?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this adorable art](http://lick-j.livejournal.com/1056124.html) by Jenn. Title is a quote from Jubilee in the 90s X-Men cartoon.

"C'mon, Remy, please take me to the mall?" Jubilee begged.

"Ma petite, you were just at the mall yesterday. You _do_ remember that you don't live there anymore, don't you?" Though they joked about it now, it hurt Remy's heart to think of Jubilee living anywhere but the mansion. Still, Remy knew from experience that if one had to be a homeless kid, there were worse places to be than a mall.

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah, I was there yesterday, but it's the weekend. Anyway, I wanted to ask your expert fashion opinion on something."

Remy smirked. "You mean you want me to buy you a new pair of jeans."

Jubilee made the kind of indignant sound that only teenage girls can really achieve. "Uh! Well, _you're_ the one who said I couldn't shoplift anymore. Clothes are _expensive_."

Remy bit back a laugh. "Ah, Jubes. Ain't my rule, it's the Professor's. And it's the law. But it's a good idea, to keep your nose clean. Maybe you get caught, maybe the cops start poking around the school, maybe it don't go so well. That said--I think you maybe _could_ use my expert fashion advice. Somebody to teach you there's other colors besides yellow."

"Great, Remy, and maybe we could find you something to wear besides that 100-year-old leather trenchcoat."

"Hey, cherie, me and this coat go way back. This coat has saved my life on more than one occasion."

"Yeah, some coat," Jubilee said, but she listened as Remy started, "There I was, minding my own business--"

Logan entered the rec room and snorted. "Listen, darlin', any time Remy starts a story with 'I was minding my own business,' you know it's a lie."

Remy clutched his heart in mock pain. "Logan! Mon coeur, you wound me. I _never_ lie. It's just that the truth, well, it can be a little bit flexible."

"Right," Logan said, giving him an amused smirk. Logan's eyes were fond, though, and Remy blew him a kiss.

"God, get a room," Jubilee said, eyeing the two men.

"Well, cherie, we already have one. I thought you wanted me to take you to the mall, but if you changed your mind--"

"Ugh, no, let's just go. Just--you guys are like my dads or something. It's gross when you look at each other like that."

Remy stood up, solemnly shook Logan's hand, and said, with extreme formality, "I bid you a fond farewell, my friend. I hope you have a fruitful day while I escort young miss Jubilee to the local shopping center."

Logan laughed. "Well, now, maybe I'll come with you. Ain't got nothin' planned for today."

"Really, Logan?" Jubilee asked excitedly.

"Yeah, sure, kiddo."

Remy smiled at Logan, wondering what would prompt this unexpected trip from Logan. Remy said, "Jubilee, go sign yourself out and meet us in the garage, d'accord?"

"Fine, but you'd better not be making out when I get out there."

"And what're you gonna do if we are, petite?" Remy asked with a wink.

"Vom," Jubilee said cheerfully, as she headed down to the signout sheet in the office.

Remy smirked at Logan and said, "We'd better act fast, then."

"I never known you to be in a hurry, Cajun," Logan said, leaning in for a leisurely kiss. Remy felt his cock stir in response to his lover's skillful attention. But they had a date with Jubilee, so he reluctantly broke it off. The two men headed for the garage. Remy stopped at a cabinet and pulled out his own black helmet as well as Jubilee's pink one. Logan refused to wear a helmet, on the grounds that his healing factor was stronger than plastic and fiberglass. Placing the helmets on the seat of his bike, Remy leaned down for one more kiss with Logan. They were interrupted by Jubilee's groan.

"Hey, petite, we was just killing time until you could join us," Remy said brightly.

"Can we please just go?" Jubilee said.

Remy handed her her helmet. He put his own on and climbed on; she hopped on behind him. Jubilee would happily ride on the back of either man's motorcycle, but given the choice she preferred the smoother, quieter ride of Remy's BMW to Logan's Harley. It didn't hurt that Remy and Jubilee combined weighed less than Logan.

"See you at the mall!" Jubilee called brightly, as Remy started his bike. They sped off and reunited with Logan in the parking lot, near the food court entrance. Logan's bike was already there, and Logan himself was smugly standing next to it. "Took you long enough," he said.

"I had fragile cargo, mon coeur. Had to take it easy around the corners."

"Anyway, I saw you ahead of us the whole time," Jubilee said. "You got here like thirty seconds before us."

Inside the mall, Jubilee immediately said, "Mm, let's get cheese fries!" Remy's metabolism meant that he was nearly always hungry. He knew Logan was the same way, so neither of them pointed out that lunch had only been an hour ago. After putting their helmets in a locker, Remy shelled out for cheese fries, Cokes, and a corn dog for Logan. They ate while Jubilee chattered about which stores were having what sales. Logan looked slightly tense; Remy knew his lover disliked crowds, and the food court was packed. Under the table, Remy surreptitiously squeezed Logan's knee, earning a tiny smile--or at least a tiny grimace reduction.

After they ate and threw away their greasy cardboard trays, Jubilee led her erstwhile guardians to Old Navy, where Logan agreed to give her money for new jeans on the condition that he didn't have to set foot in the hectic store. Remy gave him a quick kiss behind Jubilee's back before following her into the store, to offer his opinion on different cuts and washes of denim. Remy tried to keep it quick for Logan's sake, but there was a long line for changing rooms. Anyway, neither Jubilee nor Remy were inclined to rush matters of style. When they finally emerged from the store with a bulging bag, Logan's arms were crossed and he looked noticeably irritated.

"Sorry, Logan," Jubilee said guiltily. "There was a really long line."

Logan smiled down at her, his annoyance melting away. "S'alright, darlin'."

"Oh, good, then let's go to Hot Topic!" Jubilee chirped. Remy smirked and Logan tried to keep a neutral expression.

"But you already shopped," Logan said.

Jubilee gave an epic eyeroll. "Lo-gan, the whole point of a mall is you can shop a lot of places at the same time. I mean that's _literally_ the whole point of the mall."

Logan sighed. "Well then, lead on, I guess." Remy took Logan's hand as Jubilee led them confidently through the busy shopping center. After their fifth store, Logan was agitated, Remy was a few hundred dollars poorer, and Jubilee was glowing with happiness.

"Darlin', what more could you _possibly_ need?" Logan asked, trailing behind Jubilee.

"Oh, hmm, I guess we can go back to the mansion," Jubilee said. "Thank you guys soo much for--oh, a photo booth! C'mon, we can get, like, a family portrait! Um, can I have two dollars?"

Remy laughed and gave her the money, dragging Logan into the booth after him. He bent down to kiss Logan while Jubilee vogued in front of them. Then she turned back and said "You _guys_ ," pushing herself between them.

"Hey, petite, it was my two dollars. My pictures!" Remy said, playfully pulling Logan into the center of the frame and giving him a kiss for the camera.

"Stop it, this is, like, child abuse," Jubilee said, shoving herself between them as the camera flashed. "Ugh, I was talking! Smile, the next one is the last one!"

"If the next one turns out, does that mean I don't have to come back to this mall ever again?" Logan asked.

"Totally," Jubilee said, and they all laughed as the camera flashed the final time. "Ha, I had my fingers crossed so that didn't count," she crowed. She hopped out of the booth to wait for her pictures while Remy and Logan took advantage of thirty seconds' privacy.

"Hey," Jubilee called, "the last one turned out pretty good! And--God, are you making out in there again? Ugh, let's go home so you'll stop embarrassing me in public."

"We ain't in public, petite," Remy said sweetly. "There's a curtain."

"God, I am never going to the mall with you two again," Jubilee said.

"That a promise, darlin'?" Logan asked. Remy grinned, wondering if this had been Logan's plan all along. But then, neither of them expected Jubilee to keep that promise for more than a day or so.

"Well," Jubilee said breezily, "I _might_ forgive you guys. New shoes would be a great way to apologize for being so gross."

"Pretty high price for forgiveness, cherie," Remy said, though he truthfully didn't object to supplementing Jubilee's wardrobe. She'd come to the mansion with little more than the clothes on her back, after all.

"Yeah, but I'm worth it."

"S'pose you are, at that," Remy said with a fond smile.

"How about we hightail it out of here?" Logan suggested. "Pretty sure you can live without new shoes until the next time you strong-arm LeBeau into taking you to the mall."

"Yeah, I can live longer without new shoes than you two can live without making out with each other."

Remy shrugged. "Well then, guess we'd better get out of here." The trio made their way back across the mall and out to the parking lot. Remy helped Jubilee pack her purchases into his bike's saddlebags. "See you back at the mansion, then, cher," Remy said to Logan with a wink.

"Yeah, yeah," Logan said, starting his bike. He sped out of the parking lot and Remy and Jubilee followed behind. Back at the mansion, all three headed up to their respective bedrooms. Jubilee went to put away her new clothes, and Logan and Remy helped each other out of their old clothes.

Remy broke his mouth away from Logan's long enough to ask, "Have fun at the mall, cher?"

Logan growled and nipped at Remy's earlobe before saying, "The company was good, anyway." He sucked thoughtfully at Remy's throat and added, "And the cheese fries."


End file.
